120 Gaslighting Quotes To Help You Deal With Manipulators

Here are 120 insightful gaslighting quotes to help you understand, spot, and protect yourself from manipulators!

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Top 10 Gaslighting Quotes Picked By Author

1. “Gaslighting is the practice of getting others to distrust their own accurate perceptions.” — David Livingstone Smith

2. “It is important for the individual to know that the gaslighting behavior is an issue with the perpetrator, not the receiver (victim).” — Brittany Canfield

3. “Gaslighting can also happen when someone believes their narrative is more valid than someone else’s.” — Ana De La Cruz

4. “Gaslighting is a usual technique for manipulative individuals whose goal is to control other people’s minds and consequently to easily take advantage of them.” — Thekla Petridou

5. “Remember, a fact is a fact, no matter how hard the liars amongst you might try hushing it up.” ― Billy Childish

6. “Gaslighting: These predators prey on susceptible individuals who believe in their false altruism, affection, and promises of protection.” — Ross Rosenberg

7. “Driving someone to insanity is the devil’s work.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri

8. “Gaslighting is a distorted alternate reality.” ― Tracy Malone

9. “Gaslighting is actually a highly calculating form of manipulation – which involves the destabilization – of one individual by another over a protracted period of time.” — Monica Vermani

10. “The worst part about gaslighting is that it undermines your self-worth to the point where you’re second-guessing everything.” ― Dana Arcuri

Gaslighting Quotes Everyone Should Read

1. “Gaslighting is often unnoticed and can do a lot of harm to the person who experiences it.” — Gabriela Sadurni Rodriguez

2. “Gaslighting is the weapon of the psychological war which refers to a conscious and planned strategy that the victimizer uses in order to convince the victim that they have lost their right mind and to make them believe they are “crazy”.” — Thekla Petridou

3. “PSA: If you decide to label a behavior as gaslighting on social or in real-time, be sure you are correct. Because if you are not, you’d be the one gaslighting.” ― Richie Norton

4. “Gaslighters may apply stereotypes to their victims in an attempt to get the victim to question themselves. Many of the classic examples are misogynistic, like telling someone they are “overly-emotional and irrational, like all women.” — Willis Klein

5. “Gaslighting ‘manifests’ in relationships of all kinds: from romantic to work-related to familial and even amongst friends.” — Kate Willman

6. “The idea that women are inherently irrational, that masculinity equals reason and femininity equals overemotionality and unreason – I think that’s really at the core of a lot of gaslighting in heterosexual intimate relationships.” — Paige Sweet

7. “Whenever someone is not seeing, accepting, owning and expressing their actual personal truth, it will automatically become a gaslighting situation.” — Teal Swan

8. “Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim to doubt her or himself, and ultimately lose her or his own sense of perception, identity, and self-worth.” — Preston Ni

9. “When we’re challenged or confronted or told, ‘Hey, I remember this differently,’ we might think we’re being gaslit, when actually we’re being confronted on a behavior and asked to change it – as opposed to being told that we’re bad or that we don’t remember things correctly or that we’re emotionally unstable.” — Vanessa Kennedy

10. “Gaslighting are lies with a purpose to confuse and control.” ― Tracy Malone

11. “Gaslighting is somebody else, manipulating you to make you feel like you’re going crazy. So it’s not somebody that annoys you. It’s not somebody that you find frustrating or makes you angry or that you have a different opinion from — It’s somebody who makes you feel like you’re going crazy.” — Jo Robertson

12. “No one is born a gaslighter. And, not all gaslighting is done with intent or at least with conscious intent. Gaslighting is socially learned – either someone sees it, experiences it, or happens into it as a way of gaining control of the moment and stabilizing themselves and it works!” — Robin Stern

13. “Most of what people refer to of gaslighting is likely less deliberate than that. I assume there is a spectrum of gaslighting behaviors ranging from highly intentional to completely unintentional, but this is still a matter of debate.” — Willis Klein

14. “Those who trust and have a good sense of themselves can be more immune to gaslighting. However, gaslighters tend to persist in their coercion as long as you’re in their orbit. Like psychological warfare, by keeping up with the negativity, the gaslighter can eventually wear down their victim. Just as a physically healthy person can get sick by standing next to someone with the flu, an emotionally healthy person can be infected with the negative contagion spread by a gaslighter.” — Preston Ni

15. “When you are the gaslight-tee, it is as if you are listening to an old-fashioned radio and you can only turn the dial to one station.” — Robin Stern

16. “Emotional abuse is designed to undermine another’s sense of self. It is deliberate humiliation, with the intent to seize control of how others feel about themselves.” — Lorraine Nilon

17. “It also makes them vulnerable to more gaslighting, because their defenses have weakened, and the best gaslighting victims are those who doubt themselves.” ― Jackson MacKenzie

18. “Feeling gaslit may be a sign that someone is gaslighting you, or it may instead be a sign that you don’t trust the other person to be honest with you and/or to not try to cause you harm.” — Case Lovell

19. “The aim of gaslighting is to make you feel bad about something you need not feel bad about. Gaslighting is emotional abuse… happens in the real world and on social media, too.” — Vikram Karve

20. “Gaslighting is often coupled with other tactics such as shaming and any other way to make the victim doubt their own judgment.” — Noosha Anzab

21. “One important side effect of gaslighting is having your memory “black out” after a fight (because your brain is trying to protect you from the cruelty of the abuse), which results in not being able to remember how an argument started.” — Shannon Weber

22. “The victim can be left feeling confused, frustrated and questioning their own perceptions, but not being able to pinpoint why they feel that way!” — Noosha Anzab

23. “Gaslighting, brainwashing, cults, hostage situations, and totalitarian propaganda have a common basis. They use similar techniques to confuse, intimidate, and disempower people.” — Linda Hatch

24. “It is not okay for someone you like to treat you poorly and then pretend it didn’t happen, making you question your own grasp on reality. This dynamic is called gaslighting. It’s a common tactic of abusers to shift the focus of the blame from their bad behavior onto the person they are victimizing.” — Shannon Weber

25. “People who experience gaslighting may feel confused or as though they cannot do anything right.” — Jennifer Huizen

26. “Gaslighting may not be the only factor leading to mental illness but the same factors that leave a person vulnerable to gaslighting may result in lower self-esteem, uncertainty about their own reality, anxiety, and ultimately depression.” — Robin Stern

27. “Over time, the effect of gaslighting can erode your self-respect and your ability to choose healthy situations for yourself that are going to make you happy and be fulfilling.” — Vanessa Kennedy

28. “The person who’s perpetrating it may or may not know they’re doing it, but for the person it’s being done to, it can feel confusing and very damaging.” — Chivonna Childs

29. “If the person speaks very unfavorably about their exes or their parents, that’s a tipoff. If they’re calling them any derogatory names, that’s a tipoff, or if they allude to having any history of cheating. And if they’re really overdoing it – if they’re telling you how wonderful you are and how you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them, and you’re not even through your appetizer at the restaurant – that’s a red flag.” — Stephanie Sarkis

30. “Over time, you begin to believe that there is something wrong with you because one of the most important people in your life is telling you this.” — Michelle Riba

Manipulation And Gaslighting Quotes

1. “Someone who gaslights is saying, ‘Trust what I say, and give priority to that over your own memory and thoughts and senses.’” — David Livingstone Smith

2. “It wasn’t the loudest and scariest explosions that caused the most damage. It wasn’t the physical violence or the verbal abuse or the lack of boundaries and inappropriate behavior. What did the real damage was the denial that these incidents ever occurred.” — Ariel Leve

3. “Some gaslighters may occasionally use flattery or other forms of positive reinforcement as a manipulative tactic. When the victim’s guard is down, the next round of gaslighting may begin.” — Preston Ni

4. “Gaslighters are masters at manipulation and will often find people who they know they can gain control over (even if it’s over time). They think it’s okay to manipulate and confuse someone in order to put themselves in a power position.” — Noosha Anazb

5. “Changed behavior is the only apology; otherwise, it’s just manipulation.” — Maranda Pleasant

6. “’Gaslighters’ use the following techniques to destabilize and undermine the reality of their targets (‘gaslightees’): persistent denial, deflection, reality spinning, blaming, contradiction, and outright lying as the gaslighter attempts to destabilize the target and cause them to second guess their own reality.” — Robin Stern

7. “It starts with a lie. Each day the lies amplify. Time goes by, the lies turn to gaslighting. Eventually, the lies become smears about you.” — Tracy Malone

8. “Contrary to popular belief, gaslighting is prevalent in most social environments, not just within romantic or familial relationships, nor are these experiences exclusive to legal cases.” — Brittany Canfield

9. “One common reason that gaslighting occurs in romantic relationships is to avoid accountability for infidelity. So, for example, the gaslighter might start cheating, and as a result become more withdrawn, cagey, aloof, and be staying out late without explanation.” — Willis Klein

10. “Gaslighting is a method of manipulation by toxic people to gain power over you.” — Dana Arcuri

11. “Someone who gaslights you is trying to talk you out of your experience to alleviate their shame and responsibility to an issue. It’s a tool to control and manipulate you.” — Dr. Henry Cloud

12. “Gaslighting qualifies as a form of emotional abuse that involves denying a person’s experience and making statements, such as ‘that never happened,’ ‘you’re too sensitive,’ or ‘this isn’t that big a deal.’” — Ramani Durvasula

13. “Invalidation is crazy-making, and it is also at the root of gaslighting, where victims’ feelings are purposely denied or manipulated in order to make them question their sanity.” — Samantha Rodman

14. “However, I can’t say enough that experiencing gaslighting – though uncomfortable, demeaning, and difficult to admit – isn’t in and of itself a “problem”. In general, experiencing gaslighting is evidence of larger problems, either in the client who was gaslit or the person utilizing gaslighting behaviors (or both!).” — Kate Willman

15. “A lot of gaslighting behaviour stems back to the perpetrator wanting to gain a sense of control.” — Noosha Anzab

16. “Something cannot always be wrong or never be right. So, when you find this person is always right or their point of view is always the way that it goes, those are cues for gaslighting.” — Chivonna Childs

17. “Let us not get scooped up by gaslighting manipulators stealing our emotions and taking possession of our inner child to carry out their dark agenda. Let the light of our intuition guide us subtly and wisely along the path of trust and suspicion.” — Erik Pevernagie

18. “Gaslighting is oftentimes difficult to identify given its insidious nature. It typically begins very subtly by having another person “correct” your thinking, contradicts your statements, or invalidate/dismiss your emotions.” — Gabriela Sadurni Rodriguez

19. “Gaslighting causes us to doubt our own memories, perceptions, and judgments. It throws us psychologically off balance. It’s like being in the Twilight Zone. If you feel as though your self-esteem, confidence, and dignity has withered under the flame of gaslighting, you are not alone.” ― Dana Arcuri

20. “Lies require noise and misdirection to blend in, silence is the best way to draw the truth to the surface.” ― Anna Pitoniak

21. “When people constantly doubt or question their own perspectives and reality, they begin having difficulty trusting themselves, their sanity, and their reality; which could contribute to having other issues such as low self-esteem, codependency, etc.” — Gabriela Sadurni Rodriguez

22. “Gaslighting is different than other forms of abuse because it relies on the abused person agreeing with the other person and truly believing that they are irrational or unstable.” — Rachel Nall

23. “Gaslighting is a behavior that people learn by watching others. A person who uses this tactic may have learned it is an effective way of obtaining what they want or controlling people.” — Jennifer Huizen

24. “The most distinctive feature of gaslighting is that it’s not enough for the gaslighter simply to control his victim or have things go his way: It’s essential to him that the victim herself actually come to agree with him.” — Andrew D. Spear

25. “Gaslighting is really an undermining of their sense of reality. If you can’t trust what you see and hear and feel, what can you trust?” — David Livingstone Smith

26. “When it becomes a series of behaviors where the sole intent is to gain control of someone else, then you’re getting into gaslighting behaviours.” — Stephanie Sarkis

27. “Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation by someone to make you feel like your feelings aren’t your feelings or what you think is happening isn’t really happening.” — Chivonna Childs

28. “Here comes the gaslighting. He’s attempting to make me feel crazy for being scared, even though my fear is more than warranted.” ― Colleen Hoover

29. “It’s the feeling of “something is wrong with me”. And people often struggle to even attach it to the person who’s gaslighting them, because they often think the person in question is really rational and logical — so they think “Okay, I’m the crazy one.” “ — Jo Robertson

30. “The intent of gaslighting really is to cause confusion and sow the seeds of doubt. It can be a very coercive and controlling tactic.” — Elisa Martinez

Eye-Opening Narcissist Gaslighting Quotes

1. “Narcissists have been planting the seed that you are crazy from day one.” ― Tracy Malone

2. “Someone who has strong pathologies of both narcissism and gaslighting is toxic and dysfunctional at best, and highly dangerous at worst.” — Preston Ni

3. “If you alter your behavior because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused.” ― Sandra Horley

4. “Most commonly, gaslighting – also referred to as coercive control – is carried out by someone in a position of trust who is in close contact with the target.” — Monica Vermani

5. “A narcissist often feels entitled to control other people because in their minds, their opinion matters the most.” — Noosha Anzab

6. “The gaslighter avoids responsibility for their toxic behavior by lying and denying and making you question facts, your memory, and your feelings. Basically, the gaslighter makes you feel crazy and confused.” — Karen Salmansohn

7. “If it’s happening by someone you love and care about (like a spouse or parent), you’re going to WANT to believe the other person — and the gaslighter may use that against you.” — Darlene Lancer

8. “Gaslighting and narcissism are different traits with certain overlaps. Both can be ego-centric, manipulative, and coercive. Whereas narcissists tend to focus on self-absorbed, selfish machinations (to use others), many gaslighters fixate on power and control (to dominate others).” — Preston Ni

9. “Gaslighters are typically emotionally abusive people – often with low self-esteem – who wish to control others rather than engage in mutually respectful relationships that require consideration, empathy, compassion and kindness.” — Monica Vermani

10. “The narcissist loves playing mind games with you. They are clever to conceal who they are.” — Dana Arcuri

11. “The gaslighter may not even know he is doing anything strategic or manipulative. He lacks self-awareness and may just think he is expressing himself directly, or is prone to unflinching honesty, saying it “like it is.”” — Robin Stern

12. “After the fog lifts and you awaken to the truth about abuse, the narcissist and flying monkeys will minimize the facts about what took place. They will discredit you. They will undermine your own perception. They will accuse you of being insane. Even if you took the time to explain yourself, they will cast all blame onto you.” ― Dana Arcuri

13. “In any case, whether it is a friendship or a high stake relationship, gaslighting poses the ultimate challenge of the receiver being perceived as incompetent, irrational, unreliable, and/or ill.” — Brittany Canfield

14. “People engaging in gaslighting can feel less anxious, avoid taking responsibility, avoid a difficult conversation. They can feel more in control of the moment and reaffirm the attachment their partner has to them.” — Robin Stern

15. “If there’s no safety for you to voice yourself, then that is a situation where there’s a toxic relationship.” — Duygu Balan

16. “Emotional abuse can leave a victim feeling like a shell of a person, separated from the true essence of who they naturally are. It also leads to a victim feeling tormented and tortured by their own emotions.” ― Lorraine Nilon

17. “Realize that narcissists have an addiction disorder. They are strongly addicted to feeling significant. Like any addict they will do whatever it takes to get this feeling often.” — Shannon L. Alder

18. “People who harm you will blame you for it. Remember, an abuser will generally always play the victim, spin a story, tell everyone and they generally call you crazy.” ― Maranda Pleasant

19. “Most people who gaslight fall display signs of being an authoritarian personality, where they see no faults in themselves but find it very easy to point out the faults or shortcomings of others.” — Noosha Anzab

20. “Gaslighters do not respect boundaries, and they tend to lash out when you try to enforce them.” — Stephanie Sarkis

21. “The person with the power – the gaslighter – will wear you down over time with his insistence and certainty about his reality.” — Robin Stern

22. “Gaslighters are master manipulators. They lie or withhold information, pit people against each other, and always place blame elsewhere, all the while gaining control over those they are gaslighting.” — Stephanie Sarkis

23. “Gaslighting can be part of a narcissistic personality, but there are other pieces to narcissistic personality disorder. And it’s more sociopathic behavior than just being a jerk.” — Stephanie Sarkis

24. “They could have learned it from their upbringing, they could have been gaslit as children, they could have narcissistic tendencies. There could be multiple ways that people end up being gaslighters.” — Chivonna Childs

25. “A gaslighter is determined to exert control over someone.” — Robin Stern

Gaslighting Quotes To Help You Heal

1. “Remember this, your thoughts and feelings matter. Never ever settle for anyone who doesn’t think so too.” ― Christine E. Szymanski

2. “Considering the impact gaslighting behavior has on an individual, therapies rooted in building self-trust, self-esteem/self-worth, and identity are strongly recommended.” — Brittany Canfield

3. “It takes two people for gaslighting to work: the gaslighter, and the victim. As soon as the victim decides she or he will no longer accept the ill treatment, the process of change begins.” — Preston Ni

4. “Gaining awareness of this type of psychological abuse is a crucial element of healing and moving forward. Being able to discern or recognize that someone is doing this to you is an important first step.” — Gabriela Sadurni Rodriguez

5. “The important thing is to recognise and understand the manipulation and try to detach yourself from that person.” — Noosha Anzab

6. “You can’t be gaslighted if you don’t take it on board. People get disoriented when they take stuff on board and buy in. It can help to get a trusted friend’s point of view, but of course this isn’t foolproof.” — David Livingstone Smith

7. “The secret to healing is when you learn that had the power all along. The brainwashing fades and the fears retreat as you rebuild and create the happiest you. Be strong and fight for the future of drinking lemonade in peace.” ― Tracy A. Malone

8. “Remember: As long as there’s any part of yourself that believes you need your gaslighter to feel better about yourself, to boost your confidence, or to bolster your sense of who you are in the world, you’ll be leaving yourself open for gaslighting.” ― Robin Stern

9. “There are many tips to guard against being gaslit in a relationship. One of the most important ideas is to keep a healthy distance whenever possible. It is also crucial to learn how to communicate affirmatively to yourself and with the gaslighter, to minimize the impact of being gaslit.” — Preston Ni

10. “Standing in your own reality is the surest way to stop and prevent gaslighting.” — Robin Stern

11. “Dealing with the effects of gaslighting behavior can be isolating and discouraging. With that in mind, seeking the assistance from a professional can help lessen the impact of the experience and gain useful tools to help now and in the future.” — Brittany Canfield

12. “One of the first steps in freeing yourself from a gaslighting relationship, then, is to acknowledge how unpleasant and hurtful you find this Emotional Apocalypse.” — Robin Stern

13. “If you are living with feelings of terror, anxiety, self-doubt, guilt and are questioning your sanity and sense of self, seek help of a professional. In some scenarios, years of abuse can take time for a person to heal.” — Noosha Anzab

14. “The first step for me in these situations is acknowledgement and acceptance. Rarely do I have clients coming in saying “they’re gaslighting me!” Usually, it is something we learn over time with recollection of various behaviors and/or conversations within the relationship.” — Kate Willman

15. “The antidote to gaslighting is greater emotional awareness and self-regulation – both the knowledge and the practice.” — Robin Stern

16. “If you feel like might have been gaslighted, the answer to that is validation. Go to a trusted individual to give you feedback about what you have been going through.” — Gabriela Sadurni Rodrguez

17. “You are the architect of your own reality. If you’re looking at the beams and walls and telling yourself, “Wait, I know this just isn’t true,” then the gaslight might be on.” — Robin Stern

18. “Your relationship should be a shared experience. How can you be in a relationship when you’re never right, when your emotions are never valid and your experiences, your thoughts and your moods are never OK? That’s not a shared space.” — Chivonna Childs

19. “Staying in a relationship where there is emotional abuse like gaslighting makes it more likely you will also be the victim of life-threatening or deadly physical abuse, and that’s one big reason why it’s so important to establish distance.” — Stephanie Sarkis

20. “When others challenge your perception, ignore them. It’s the self-doubt that is so crippling in gaslighting.” — Robin Stern

21. “Gaslighting may take place for years or decades before a person realizes what is happening. As a result, recovering from gaslighting takes time.” — Rachel Nall

22. “Finding safe ways to document events, create a safety plan, or leave a relationship are important ways to protect oneself from gaslighting, as well as other forms of emotional abuse.” — Jennifer Huizen

23. “Recovery from gaslighting requires recognition. It is hard to recognize your own thoughts as real if the only person you’re around is someone who’s telling you they aren’t. Calling friends, finding a therapist, and talking to family are all good ideas to combat isolation.” — Rebecca Lee

24. “Even if you have been gaslighted – and make no mistake, it is a form of abuse – that doesn’t mean that things can’t be remedied. For one, through increased emotional awareness and learning to identify the gaslighting, you can learn to validate yourself.” — Robin Stern

25. “If social networks and community support are protective, we can rely on one another to prevent or reverse the worst effects of gaslighting.” — Paige L. Sweet

To Wrap Up

I hope these gaslighting quotes have cleared the confusion around this popular term that we more and more tend to use in everyday conversations.