I’m sure you’re a fan of this amazing Mexican alcoholic drink, just like me!
If so, then you’ll love my awesome collection of the 100 very best tequila quotes in the world!
Tequila means different things for different people, but there’s nothing quite like it, and I’m sure we can all agree on that!
I’ve collected the very finest tequila quotes and captions for you to share with your besties and the world, so keep scrolling to see!
Top 10 Tequila Quotes
These are the absolute best tequila quotes:
1. “O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate.” – Tom Robbins
2. “Drinking tequila is more about the journey than the destination.” – Rainbow Rowell
3. “I enjoy tequila, which has a strange effect on people, and it makes parties more fun than warm white wine.” – Simon Sebag Montefiore
4. “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them tequila and have a party.” – Ron White
5. “We should all believe in something, and I believe it’s time for another shot of tequila.” – Justin Timberlake
6. “Tequila drinking, our minds will wander to wondrous places.” – Dave Matthews Band
7. “Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.” – Mark Z. Danielewski
8. “When life gives you lemons, get tequila and salt.” – Sanjaya Malakar
9. “I like to go dancing, having a few beers. I like being alone, too. I have days where it’s ‘God, get me a shot of tequila.’” – Justine Bateman
10. “At least you don’t need a prescription for tequila.” – Rachel Vincent
Tequila Quotes For True Tequila Fans
Beware: the following tequila quotes may inspire you to do silly things!
1. “A banana is 105 calories. A shot of tequila is 70 calories. Choose wisely!”
2. Take life with a pinch of salt, a shot of tequila and a wedge of lime. Do nothing at all, but take your time.” – John Walter Bratton
3. “The next forecast with the words “ice” and “salt” better be a margarita recipe.”
4. “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!” – George Carlin
5. “This tequila tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow.”
6. “Exercise makes you look and feel good naked… So does tequila, your choice!”
7. “Don’t be shy, send that 12th unanswered text!” – Tequila
8. “Life isn’t always tacos and tequila… but it should be.”
9. “I’m well aware I’m not someone’s cup of tea. I’d rather be someone’s shot of tequila anyway.”
10. “Make time for the things you love. Like tequila.”
11. “Love is like tequila shots, not the quantity but strength matters.” – Saru Singhal
12. “I have been instrumental in banning bottled water on the set. It hasn’t gone that well with the crew… so I replaced it with tequila.” – Hugh Laurie
13. “Tequila. Straight. There’s a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more, and it just won’t go down. Then you know you’ve reached your limit.” – Lee Marvin
14. “Devastated after a breakup? Have a tequila. If you can’t be happy, at least you can get drunk.”
15. “If you want to keep your dignity intact, stay away from tequila.”
16. “I love you as much as I love tequila.”
17. “When life gets too salty, add a little tequila and lime.”
18. “A little tequila, sunshine, and tacos never hurt anybody.” – Matthew McConaughey.
19. “Stop trying to make everyone happy. You’re not tequila.” – Emmy Rossum
20. “Wanna be smart in no time? Drink tequila. Such intelligence is temporary, though.”
21. “The secret formula to happiness tastes a lot like tequila.”
More Funny Tequila Quotes
Don’t get salty if these hilarious tequila quotes make you laugh so much that tequila comes out of your nose!
1. “Give me coffee for the things I can change & tequila for those I can’t.”
2. “You know what rhymes with Friday? – Tequila!”
3. “Coffee: You can do this. Wine: You don’t have to do this. Tequila: You just did that.”
4. “Trust me; one isn’t enough.” – Tequila
5. “Tequila is like duct tape, it fixes nearly everything.”
6. “Margaritas are the answer, but I don’t remember the question.”
7. “Tequila! It helps people lower their standards.”
8. “You know, I have mixed drinks with my feelings.”
9. “Tequila is not even a drink; it’s a way for having the cops around without using a phone.”
10. “When you drink enough tequila, you become a lawyer, doctor, and scientist – trust me!”
11. “Tequila – because being an adult is hard.”
12. “Tequila is the juice of the gods.”
13. “Too much tequila can leave you wondering where your clothes are.”
14. “I feel like the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle.”
15. “Tequila is cheaper than therapy.”
16. “’Hakuna Tequila.’ That means ‘no memories.’”
17. “You ain’t ugly but you’re 10 tequila shots away from being my type.”
18. “Taking shots of tequila is just another way of saying, ‘I like where I wake up to always be a surprise.’”
19. “Well played, tequila. Well played.”
20. “I’m on the tequila diet. So far I’ve lost 2 days.”
21. “Vote for tequila. You’re making the right choice.”
22. “Tequila probably won’t fix your problems but it’s worth a shot.”
23. “Do you know Jose Cuervo? He’s my friend.”
24. “You look like I need another tequila.”
More Tequila Quotes To Check Out
More tequila quotes? – Si!
1. “Always cry over spilled tequila.”
2. “No one can stop at just the first shot of tequila.”
3. “When I taste Tequila, baby I still see ya.” – Dan & Shay
4. “I knew I hated straight shots of anything except tequila. I was definitely a tequila girl.” – Wendy Higgins
5. “With tequila, there are no rules. Tequila is the rule.”
6. “It was too much tequila, or not quite enough.” – Jimmy Buffett
7. “Very few people have that effect. Very few people are tequila and champagne at the same time.” – Fredrik Backman
8. “He was a tequila sunrise after the darkest night.” – EJ King
9. “Tequila is my salmon.” – Eddie Redmayne
10. “There is a great independence, and a confident immunity to risk, in all drinks made out of cactus.” – Alan LeMay
11. “If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.” – Craig Ferguson
12. “Tequila makes me dream up things like dance battles.” – Rachel Hollis
13. “After three hundred miles of musicians and endless tequila shots, the tour bus driver had never been more eager to dump us in the middle of another small, sober town.” – Jennifer Harrison
14. “It would not be until darkness had taken indisputable control over the land, until the flames of the bonfire created an unreal world of shadows, until tequila and mezcal untied men from their somber selves.” – Warren Eyster
15. “When one door closes, another tequila bottle opens.”
16. “I’ve been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it’s never been about drinking to get drunk. I don’t do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don’t drive at night.” – Sammy Hagar
17. “Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey.” – Jackson Rathbone
18. “I rarely drink, but when I do, I prefer tequila.” – Valentin Chmerkovskiy
Tequila Quotes That Can Be Used As Captions
If you’ve got a social media account with some awesome posts waiting for cool tequila captions, check these incredible captions out:
1. Forget tacos. Can we celebrate Tequila Tuesday?
2. Save Water. Drink Tequila.
3. Tequila drinkers are different from champagne drinkers.
4. Feed me tacos and tequila. Then tell me I’m beautiful.
5. I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.
6. I wonder if there is a margarita out there somewhere thinking about me, too.
7. “Trust me, you can dance” – Tequila
8. Tequila is a sneaky bitch.
9. Cheers and drink up, because July 24 is National Tequila Day!
10. I vote for tequila!
11. Te Amo? No, tequila!
12. Life is better with tequila.
13. You don’t need training to drink tequila the crafty way.
14. No one drank just one shot of tequila.
15. Summer is the tequila season.
16. I usually just prefer to chase a shot of tequila with another shot of tequila.
17. “You’re welcome for last night” – Tequila
18. You can’t buy happiness… but you can buy tequila. And that’s kind of the same thing.
19. I didn’t text you, tequila did.
20. You bring the tequila and I’ll bring the bad decisions.
21. Tequila and friends make a great blend.
22. Nothing brings people together like good tequila.
23. If you want to make some memories, add some tequila.
24. Senorita tequila.
25. I run on tacos and tequilas.
26. Tacos dippin’, margarita sippin’.
27. It’s an ‘I want to fake my own death, move to Mexico, and live on tacos and tequila’ kind of day.
To Wrap It Up
That’s all, folks!
My collection of 100 tequila quotes ends here. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!
Now enjoy your tequila/margarita, but don’t forget to drink responsibly! 🙂
Until next time!
P.S. Which quote you liked the best? Let me know in the comments below! Cheers!