Let’s go through a funny and inspirational journey of stupid quotes!
10 Best Stupid Quotes That Will Inspire Your Inner Dad Jokes
1. “Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.” ― Confucius
2. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!” ― Anonymous
3. “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” ― Brooke Shields
4. “Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.” ― Anonymous
5. “After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’” ― Ronnie Shakes
6. “To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.” ― Gustave Flaubert
7. “My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.” ― Anonymous
8. “Knock knock who’s there? a broken pencil. a broken pencil who? never mind it’s pointless.” ― Anonymous
9. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” ― Anonymous
10. “I can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day. tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” ― Anonymous
See also: 60 Funny Minion Quotes To Make You (Re)Watch The Movies
30 Funny Stupid Quotes
1. “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” ― Jack Handey
2. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!” ― Anonymous
3. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” ― Anonymous
4. “I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!” ― Anonymous
5. “I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.” ― Anonymous
6. “I fear one day I’ll meet God; he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to say.” ― Anonymous
7. “When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you’re holding is a half-eaten sandwich.” ― Violet Matters
8. “I wanted to make a belt out of watches, but it would be a waist of time.” ― Anonymous
9. “It is an obvious and blatant stupidity beyond my ability to articulate how dumb it is for us not to teach our children how to run the government.” ― Richard Dreyfuss
10. “Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.” ― P. J. O’Rourke
11. “If being awesome was a crime, I would be serving a life sentence.” ― Anonymous
12. “Old people at weddings always poke me and say you’re next so I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.” ― Anonymous
13. “Ethan Wyeth: I hope you’re thirsty.”
Gideon Wyeth:”Why?”
Ethan: “Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.” ― Orson Scott Card
14. “An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.” ― Victor Hugo, Ninety-Three
15. “Have you noticed we can breathe in here too? – Gosh, I wouldn’t have picked up on that.” ― Dan Abnett, Hereticus
16. “But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn’t sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.” ― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter
17. “Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll start using it.” ― Anonymous
18. “Bryan helped me up. “How can you be so good one minute then clumsy the next?”
I shrugged. “I’ve never been very athletic. Not unless you count fencing.”
“You made fences?” ― John Corwin, Sweet Blood of Mine
19. “You decide, and you make our night what you want. Brilliant and ours. Stupid and theirs.” ― Arthur Phillips, The Tragedy of Arthur
20. “If we are not stupid then we are bound to become one.” ― Santosh Kalwar
21. “I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off’. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.” ― Paris Hilton
22. “For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America.” ― George W. Bush
23. “My most insightful comments have been forgotten while letting a whining dog out the door.” ― Jael Turner
24. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.First off,love is something storybooks invented to keep girls busy.Second,I hate Tedros.Third,he thinks I’m an evil witch,which given my recent behavior,might be true.Now let me through.” ― Soman Chainani, The School for Good and Evil
25. “Getting older is not an intellectually demanding process.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
26. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” ― Laurence J. Peter
27. “No matter how kind you are, always expect a few imbeciles.” ― Criss Jami, Healology
28. “These are the words of a fool: I am happy to be a fool, for i won’t spend my time gazing at lines difficult to decipher, while my mates are drinking with glee.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
29. “Any idiot or imbecile can easily make enemies; the important and the hard thing is to make friends easily and keep them as friends always!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan
30. “Sometimes a fool says something wise without the intention to do that, and the awareness of having done that.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
20 Quotes About Stupid People
1. “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” ― Albert Einstein
2. We are in danger of destroying ourselves by our greed and stupidity. We cannot remain looking inwards at ourselves on a small and increasingly polluted and overcrowded planet.” ― Stephen Hawking
3. “I am responsible for what I say but I’m not responsible for what you understand.” ― Anonymous
4. “No matter how smart you are, you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.” ― Anonymous
5. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” ― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
6. “Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew
7. “This is my depressed stance. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.” ― Charles M. Schulz
8. “To generalize is to be an idiot.” ― William Blake
9. “I feel sorry for anyone who is in a place where he feels strange and stupid.” ― Lois Lowry, The Giver
10. “Irony is wasted on the stupid” ― Oscar Wilde
11. “Listen to me, goblin. You’re stupid, let’s accept that and move on.” ― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code
12. “If you need help bark like a dog.” – Gendry.
“That’s stupid. If I need help I’ll shout help.” – Arya” ― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings
13. “Intelligent people know they are intelligent. They also know that one person cannot know all, hence a person is not stupid simply because he is ignorant of one thing or another. They know that, to another intelligent person, they will not appear stupid in asking for an explanation of what they do not know, and so their ignorance on any particular issue does not become an embarrassment.” ― Lynsay Sands, Love Is Blind
14. “When you do something stupid and die, it’s pathetic,” I said. “When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic.” ― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat
15. “If you’re angry at stupid people, you’re tempted to join them.” ― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity
16. “A stupid person can make only certain, limited types of errors; the mistakes open to a clever fellow are far broader. But to the one who knows how smart he is compared to everyone else, the possibilities for true idiocy are boundless.” ― Steven Brust, Iorich
17. “I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.” ― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter
18. “Either they’re still naive, or stupid.” ― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity
19. “It is hard to befool a fool who has already been fooled so many times” ― Munia Khan
20. “Fools act wise, not wisely.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
See also: Most Exciting List Of Top 220 Funny Cooking Quotes
20 Stupidity Quotes
1. “Anger is stupid, and stupidity will kill you more surely than your opponent’s blade.” ― Patricia Briggs, Dragon Bones
2. “I responded to this development with the kind of sophisticated language for which I am famous. “Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid crap.” ― John Green, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances
3. “There are so many different kinds of stupidity, and cleverness is one of the worst.” ― Thomas Mann, The Magic Mountain
4. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Don’t worry,” I whispered over the line, “I’m an expert on stupid.”
“You’re…”
“Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can spot where they’ve been? I’m like that. A stupidinator.”
“Never say that word again,” Prof said.” ― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight
5. “Most people are boring and stupid.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
6. “A stupid ruler is much more of a problem than an insane one.” ― Patricia Briggs, Dragon Blood
7. “One of the biggest abuses of intelligence is to believe that if you have enough of it you can reinvent the truth. Stupidity believes the same thing.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough
8. “When stupid tried to make you fool, imitate like you’re more stupider than them.” ― Kamaran Ihsan Salih
9. “Wisdom gets half of its value from its being useful, and the other half from the being of at least one fool.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
10. “The only reason people do not know much is because they do not care to know. They are incurious. Incuriousity is the oddest and most foolish failing there is.” ― Stephen Fry, The Fry Chronicles
11. “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson , Self-Reliance
12. “He who is certain he knows the ending of things when he is only beginning them is either extremely wise or extremely foolish; no matter which is true, he is certainly an unhappy man, for he has put a knife in the heart of wonder.” ― Tad Williams, The Dragonbone Chair
13. “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
14. “You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ― Harlan Ellison
15. “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” ― Daniel J. Boorstin
16. “There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” ― Isaac Asimov
17. “Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.” ― G.K. Chesterton
18. “There are no uninteresting things, only uninterested people.” ― G.K. Chesterton
19. “There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don’t fit into their box are weird. But I’ll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically-manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces. like droids. Like ignorance.” ― C. JoyBell C.
20. “Living is Easy with Eyes Closed.” ― John Lennon
20 Stupid Quotes, Mr Obvious Quotes And Some Dad Jokes
1. “I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.” ― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines
2. “A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.” ― Anonymous.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! ― Anonymous
4. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere. ― Anonymous
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up! ― Anonymous
6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! ― Anonymous
7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta! ― Anonymous
8. How do you organize a space party? You planet! ― Anonymous
9. What’s brown and sticky? A stick! ― Anonymous
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! ― Anonymous
11. “If you don’t turn on the TV, you won’t see anything on it.” ― Anonymous
12. “When it’s raining, you might get wet if you go outside without an umbrella.” ― Anonymous
13. “If you want to see in the dark, you should turn on the lights.” ― Anonymous
14. “If you drop something, it will fall down due to gravity.” ― Anonymous
15. “If you don’t exercise regularly, your fitness level will suffer.” ― Anonymous
16. “If you don’t lock your doors, you’re inviting potential burglars into your home.” ― Anonymous
17. “If you don’t communicate, people won’t know what you’re thinking or feeling.” ― Anonymous
18. “If you don’t invest time and effort into your relationships, they will fade away.” ― Anonymous
19. Did you hear about the mathematician who went on a rampage? He was an absolute square root of evil! ― Anonymous
20. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. So, I turned up the intensity and became a hardcore fog chaser! ― Anonymous
See also: 90 Inspiring & Funny Quotes About Aging Gracefully
20 Famous Stupid Quotes
1. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ― Albert Einstein
2. “It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.” ― Sam Levenson
3. “Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.” ― Neil Gaiman
4. “I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.” ― Edith Sitwell
5. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” ― John Wayne
6. “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
7. “There’s no need to blame fate or destiny for a stupid decision.” ― S.A. Tawks, Mule
8. “We should have known much more than our ancestors.
But if we learn less, we’re much more stupid than them.” ― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity
9. “If you let a stupid person shape your country, you will surely get an amorphous country!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan
10. “If it is stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid. (a Shin’a’in saying)” ― Mercedes Lackey, Owlknight
11. “Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
12. “It’s an universal law– intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.” ― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn
13. “There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Collected Works
14. “If you don’t want a man unhappy politically, don’t give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it be all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag. Give the people contests they win by remembering the words to more popular songs or the names of state capitals or how much corn Iowa grew last year. Cram them full of noncombustible data, chock them so damned full of ‘facts’ they feel stuffed, but absolutely ‘brilliant’ with information. Then they’ll feel they’re thinking, they’ll get a sense of motion without moving. And they’ll be happy, because facts of that sort don’t change.” ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
15. “Fear and hatred make you stupid. And stupid people are easy to manipulate.” ― Jeffrey Fry
16. “Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.” ― Benjamin Franklin
17. “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.” ― Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man
18. “I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people.” ― Isaac Newton
19. “To know that you do not know is the best.
To think you know when you do not is a disease.
Recognizing this disease as a disease is to be free of it.” ― Lao Tzu
20. “He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.” ― George Bernard Shaw, Major Barbara
Final Word
As we reach the end of our journey through stupidity and humor, I do hope that you found yourself entertained!
So, whenever life gets a little too serious or the world seems too complicated, remember these quotes as something that will brighten your day. Stay silly and happy!
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