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Coolest Collection Of 170 SpongeBob Quotes You Can’t Miss

Coolest Collection Of 170 SpongeBob Quotes You Can’t Miss

Any SpongeBob SquarePants fans out there? Well, as you’ve found your way to my collection of the best SpongeBob quotes, I guess you belong to the fan crew, too!

So, I’m excited to let you know that today’s article brings you no less than 170 quotes by different characters from this famous American animated series!

Created by Stephen Hillenburg more than 20 years ago, this show continues to impress different audiences. It’s no wonder why!

I remember spending hours and hours watching it during my own childhood – it was absolutely fantastic, exciting, and different from any other show.

Now let’s dive into my collection and find the coolest and most inspirational quotes by SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Squidward and other characters!

10 Best SpongeBob Quotes

I’ll kick things off with my top 10 quotes:

1. “No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – SpongeBob

Illustration representing best SpongeBob quote and SpongeBob SquarePants.

2. “If you believe in yourself, with a tiny pinch of magic all your dreams can come true!” – SpongeBob

3. “You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob

4. “A five–letter word for happiness – MONEY.”Mr. Krabs

5. “It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs

“It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs

6. “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.”Plankton

7. “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” Patrick

8. “Wake me up when I care.” Squidward

9. “Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” Plankton

10. “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today.” – Squidward

Illustration of best SpongeBob quote by Squidward.

Funny SpongeBob Quotes

If you’ve been searching for the funniest SpongeBob quotes, you simply can’t miss these:

1. “Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.” – Patrick

“Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.” – Patrick

2. “Come on Krabs, there’s gotta be some use of this stuff we can agree on! Let’s sell it to the military! Imagine… fuel for flamethrowers, lubricant for killer robots, bombs that smell like french fries!” Plankton

3. “Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!” – SpongeBob

4. “Another day, another migraine.”Squidward

5. “I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob

Illustration representing funniest SpongeBob quote and SpongeBob smiling.

6. “I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.”Patrick

7. “Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells… smelly.” Mr. Krabs

8. “Just when I thought they couldn’t get any stupider.” Squidward

9. “Wait, SpongeBob, we’re not cavemen. We have technology.” Patrick

10. “Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick

“Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick

11. “Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – SpongeBob

12. “If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor!” – Lord Royal Highness

13. “My pants are on fire!… My underwear is on fire!… I’M ON FIRE!” Mr. Krabs

14. Squidward: “Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic!” Patrick: “What does claustrophobic mean?” SpongeBob: “I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus.” Patrick: “Ho, Ho,Ho!” SpongeBob: “Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!”

15. “Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.” – Patrick

“Can I have everybody’s attention… I have to use the bathroom.” – Patrick

16. SpongeBob: “Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse!” Patrick: “Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.”

17. Mr. Krabs: “I didn’t want to say this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.” SpongeBob: “Am I a pretty girl?”

18. “I am ugly and I’m proud!” – SpongeBob

19. “Well, maybe we wouldn’t sound so bad if some people didn’t try playing with BIG MEATY CLAWS!” – Saxophone player

20. “I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.” – Squidward

“I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.” – Squidward

21. “F is for fire that burns down the whole town. U is uranium… bombs! N is for no survivors!” Plankton

22. SpongeBob: “You don’t even have fingernails.” Patrick: “I cannot believe what I am hearing!” SpongeBob: “How can you hear it? You don’t have ears either!”

23. Bouncer: “Welcome to The Salty Spitoon. How tough are you?” Customer: “How tough am I? How tough am I? I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning.” Bouncer: “Yeah, so?” Customer: “Without any milk.”

24. SpongeBob: “You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we will fight the Pink Menace! Patrick: “That’s me!”

25. “You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one.” – Patrick Star

“You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one.” – Patrick Star

26. Sandy: “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else? Patrick: “Not until 4.”

27. Customer: “What’s going on?” Squidward: “Something stupid, I’m sure.”

28. SpongeBob: “What’s better than serving up smiles?” Squidward: “Being dead or anything else.”

See also: 300 Cool And Inspirational Smile Captions For Instagram

29. “Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.”Squidward

30. “Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – SpongeBob

“Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – SpongeBob

Famous SpongeBob Quotes

Looking for famous SpongeBob quotes? Here you go:

1. “That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges.” – Plankton

“That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges.” – Plankton

2. “I’m hotter than a hickory-smoked sausage!” – Sandy

3. “Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!” – SpongeBob

4. “Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy

5. “If I don’t make any money today, I’ll surely break out in a rash!” – Mr. Krabs

“If I don’t make any money today, I’ll surely break out in a rash!” – Mr. Krabs

6. “If I was a mom… this would be kind of shocking. Just call me daddy!” Patrick

7. “Future, future, future.”Squidward

8. “My name’s not RIIIIIIIIIIIICK!”Patrick

9. “I’m ugly and I’m proud!” – SpongeBob

10. “Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” – Sandy

“Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” – Sandy

11. “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!”Plankton

12. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Patrick

13. “Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn’t prove a thing. I’m as evil as ever, I’ll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula.”Plankton

14. “You’re about as ugly as homemade soup!” – Sandy

15. “It all started when I was born.” – Squidward

“It all started when I was born.” – Squidward

16. “I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.” Squidward

17. “Congratulations, sir! You have just given me my one-millionth dollar!” Mr. Krabs

18. “I don’t get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me.” Plankton

19. “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, then it would just be alright.” – SpongeBob

20. “You’re nothing but pure evil… just like newspaper comics.” – Sandy

“You’re nothing but pure evil… just like newspaper comics.” – Sandy

21. “Give to the Children’s fund? What have the children ever done for me?” Mr. Krabs

22. “I’ll have you know that I stubbed my toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” – SpongeBob

23. “Three cheers for the world’s greatest fry cook… SpongeBob!” Mr. Krabs

24. “I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow, but the snow melted and turned into water, and I drank all the water now I’m better.” Patrick

25. “No, I’m not on my way to the grand opening ceremony. I’m busy planning to rule the world!” – Plankton

“No, I’m not on my way to the grand opening ceremony. I’m busy planning to rule the world!” – Plankton

26. “Yeah, well, I’d hate you even if I didn’t hate you.” Patrick

27. “Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” Sandy Cheeks

28. “It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.”Squidward

See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life

29. “What’s so great about a nerdy pickle?” Patrick

30. “Next time I’ll bring more granola!” – Sandy

“Next time I’ll bring more granola!” – Sandy

Iconic SpongeBob quotes

Iconic quotes make iconic captions, too. Let’s take a look at this selection and maybe discover awesome caption ideas for your posts:

1. “Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob

“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob

2. “I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and – I can’t do it!” Patrick

3. SpongeBob: “Do you know what day today is?” Patrick: “Annoy Squidward day?” SpongeBob: “No, silly! that’s on the 15th!”.

4. Sandy: “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” / Patrick: “Not until 4.”

5. “Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me!” – Patrick Star

Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me! – Patrick Star

6. “No, not because I cheated! Because I’m an evil genius. And you’re just a kid.” Plankton

7. “Listen, instead of killing yourselves, I’ve got something really important for you to do for me. Now, are you men ready for your super… special…. secret…. assignment?” Mr. Krabs

8. “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick

9. “I thought I was going to steal something. Can’t imagine why. So, I’m just enjoying this lovely day!” Plankton

10. “That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges.” – Plankton

“That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges.” – Plankton (2)

11. Patrick: “Are they laughing at us?” SpongeBob: “No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us.”

12. “Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.” Patrick

13. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time you ruined everything.” Squidward

14. “I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.” Squidward

See also: 350 Awesome Food Captions For Instagram + Food Quotes

15. “With imagination, I can be anything I want. A pirate! Arrgh! A football player! Hup!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

“With imagination, I can be anything I want. A pirate! Arrgh! A football player! Hup!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

16. “I can’t see my forehead!” Patrick

17. “I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors, indoors, indoors!” – SpongeBob

18. “I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob

19. “We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!” Patrick

20. “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – SpongeBob

“You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – SpongeBob

21. “Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” Patrick

22. “Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.” Patrick

23. “I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – SpongeBob

24. “Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: one, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!”Mr. Krabs

25. “He is a ghost in denial. He needs us now more than ever.” – SpongeBob

“He is a ghost in denial. He needs us now more than ever.” – SpongeBob

26. “See, no one says ‘cool’ any more. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral.’” Pearl Krabs

27. “Well, if I was a robot, which I’m not, at least I’m well put together.” Mr. Krabs

28. “SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish… for 12 hours!”Squidward

29. “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…” Patrick

30. “I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick

“I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick

Awesome SpongeBob Quotes

This section brings you a few awesome SpongeBob quotes. Enjoy!

1. “Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning.” – SpongeBob

“Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning.” – SpongeBob

2. “Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – SpongeBob

3. “That Plankton is a clever beast. You’ve got to keep a sharp eye out for him, SpongeBob.”Mr. Krabs

4. “Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home.” – SpongeBob

5. “Ice is just a myth.” – Mr. Krabs

“Ice is just a myth.” – Mr. Krabs

6. SpongeBob: “I used to have a dream.” Mr. Krabs.: “Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.”

7. “What’s this ‘we’ stuff? You fed him the tainted patty. Looks like it’s the stony lonesome for you!” Mr. Krabs

8. “So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – Narrator

9. “Oh, yes you do, no world means no money, so, either save the world, or you’re fired!”Mr. Krabs

10. “We don’t need television… not as long as we have our imagination.” – SpongeBob

Illustration representing SpongeBob life quote and him.

11. “I’m a good noodle!” – SpongeBob

12. “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – SpongeBob

13. “Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me.” Patrick

14. “Too bad that didn’t kill me.” – Squidward

15. “All I know is fine dining and breathing.” – SpongeBob

“All I know is fine dining and breathing.” – SpongeBob

16. “The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me.” – SpongeBob

17. “Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.” – SpongeBob

18. “We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.” Mr. Krabs

19. “Me, aggressive?! How dare you?! Maybe you’re right… I command you to help me be a nicer person!”Plankton

20. “The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!” – SpongeBob

“The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!” – SpongeBob

21. “Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent.” Squidward

22. “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – SpongeBob

23. “It took three days to make that potato salad, three days!!!” – SpongeBob

24. “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob

25. “This working out thing isn’t working out.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

“This working out thing isn't working out.” – SpongeBob SquarePants

26. “It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.” Squidward

27. “There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front.” Patrick

28. Patrick: “Hey, SpongeBob… You’re shorter. Have you been dieting?” SpongeBob: “Well, a sponge has to look his spongiest.”

29. “SpongeBob, before we’re torn to shreds, I’d like to thank you for helping me look for Spot.” Plankton

30. “Look at all the hip young people eating sal–ads.” – SpongeBob

“Look at all the hip young people eating sal–ads.” – SpongeBob

See also: 260 Fantastic Salad Captions For Veggie & Fruit Lovers

Cool SpongeBob Quotes

If you need a few cool quotes from this awesome show, be sure to check these out:

1. “F is for friends who do stuff together!” – SpongeBob

Illustration representing a cool SpongeBob SquarePants quote.

2. “Who would want a friend as ugly as I am? They would! It makes them feel better about the way they look!” – SpongeBob and Patrick Star

3. “What do you usually do when I am gone? I wait for you to come back!” – SpongeBob

4. SpongeBob: “I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo–boos.” Doctor: “Boo–boos, eh? I think you guys want THAT hospital.” SpongeBob: “… WEENIE HUT GENERAL?”

5. “Wake me up when I care.” – Squidward Tentacles

“Wake me up when I care.” – Squidward Tentacles

6. “Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” Patrick Star

7. SpongeBob: “I don’t get it, Patrick. What’s wrong with Sandy?” Patrick: “Maybe it’s just a squirrel thing.”

8. “Oh Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs’ success. The formula for the Krabby Patty… Ohhh… then people would line up to eat at MY restaurant! Lord knows I’ve tried. I’ve exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet… from A to Y!”Plankton

9. “Fine, I guess you’re gonna miss… the panty raid.” Patrick

10. “Ravioli, ravioli. Give me the formuoli.” – SpongeBob

Illustration representing a cool quote from SpongeBob.

11. “What? It’s just obvious that I’m a complete failure and a waste of a lower-life form! Oh, woe is me!”Plankton

12. “Hello, we’re with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.” – SpongeBob

13. “You mean you’ve never heard the story of the… hash-slinging slasher?” Squidward

14. SpongeBob: “The slash–bringing hasher?” Squidward: “The hash–slinging slasher.” SpongeBob: “The sash wringing, the trash thinging, mash flinging… the flash springing, bringing the crash thinging the…” Squidward: “Yes. The hash-slinging slasher.”

15. “This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – SpongeBob

“This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – SpongeBob

16. Police: “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. [locks SpongeBob and Patrick in jail cell and opens it again after a second] Okay, time’s up. Now get out!” SpongeBob: “But… we stole a balloon!” Police: “Yeah, on free balloon day!”

See also: 160 Balloon Caption Ideas For Instagram That Are Too Cute

17. “You’re part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It’ll be grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like… daytime television.” – Flying Dutchman

18. “It started out as a simple order. A Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE!” Mr. Krabs

19. “You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!” Squidward

20. “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – SpongeBob

“Can I be excused for the rest of my life” – SpongeBob

21. “What doesn’t kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt.” Mr. Krabs

22. “Aye–aye, captain!” – SpongeBob

23. “Tartar sauce!” – SpongeBob

24. “Listen here, ya little barnacle. No one and I means no one can ever know about this. It’ll be the end of you, it’ll be the end of me. And worst of all, it’ll be the end of me!” Mr. Krabs

25. “Don’t be sad, buddy. Turn that frown upside down!” – SpongeBob

“Don't be sad, buddy. Turn that frown upside down!” – SpongeBob

26. “Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.” – SpongeBob

27. “Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my b*tt?” Patrick Star

28. “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend… then it would just be alright.” – SpongeBob

29. SpongeBob: “My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jrs.” Patrick: “You tell em, SpongeBob.” SpongeBob: “Patrick, what are you doing here?” Patrick: “I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesday.”

30. “Okay, magical talking trashcan. I wish Spongebob were here to see this.” – Patrick Star

Okay, magical talking trashcan. I wish Spongebob were here to see this. - Patrick Star

More SpongeBob Quotes

My exciting collection ends with more SpongeBob quotes! Let’s have a look:

1. “You’re the most adult person I know.” – Patrick Star

You're the most adult person I know. – Patrick Star

2. “I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss!” – SpongeBob SquarePants

3. Patrick: “You got it set to ‘M’ for mini when it should be set to ‘W’ for wumbo.” SpongeBob: “Patrick, I don’t think wumbo is a real word.” Patrick: “C’mon, you know. I wumbo. You wumbo. He/she/we wumbo.”

4. “Now, who wants to lick the spoon?” Grandma

5. “Moss always points to civilization.” – SpongeBob

“Moss always points to civilization.” – SpongeBob

6. “What could be better than serving up smiles?” – SpongeBob

7. “His chops are too righteous. The helmets can’t handle this level of rock n’ roll! Karen, do something!” Plankton

8. “A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.” – SpongeBob

9. “You’re not just an idiot, Patrick; you’re also my pal!” – SpongeBob

10. “And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.” – SpongeBob

“And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.” – SpongeBob

See also: Top 270 Party Captions To Get The Party Started

To Wrap It Up

That’s all, folks!

Thank you so much for reading my collection of 170 SpongeBob quotes!

Nickelodeon’s legendary television series, created by a marine science educator and animator, continues to impress different audiences!

It is, in fact, one of the highest-rated, most watched, and most profitable series ever!

Finally, I hope you liked my collection! Feel free to share it on social media with your nearest and dearest!

Stay tuned for more awesome content.

Until next time!

P.S. What’s your favorite SpongeBob quote? Let me know in the comments section below! 🙂

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Coolest Collection Of 170 SpongeBob Quotes You Can't Miss