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160 Funny Medical Pick-Up Lines That Are Unforgettable

160 Funny Medical Pick-Up Lines That Are Unforgettable

Are you a doctor or medical school student looking for the best pick up line to impress your crush?

You’ve come to the right place because this is the ultimate collection of flirty, witty, and unforgettable medical pick-up lines!

Choosing the right words when approaching our crush is extremely important, whether it’s in person or on Tinder.

You’ve only got a couple of seconds to make a strong first impression and grab their attention.

Forget about “hey, how are you?” because it will lead you nowhere. You need something to captivate their attention and make them want to continue the conversation.

A witty chat-up line will do the job.

I collected the best medical pick-up lines I could find online, so you have plenty of awesome options to choose from.

Whether you want something cute, funny, or even a little bit dirty, you’ll find it all here.

Let’s take a look!

Top 20 Medical Pick-Up Lines

I’ll start off with my list of the 20 best medical pick-up lines! They’re catchy and witty and will impress even the most critical. Check them out!

1. I’d check your blood sugar, but you’re sweet enough.

I’d check your blood sugar, but you’re sweet enough.

2. Can I be your ophthalmologist ‘cause I can’t stop looking into your eyes. Law Of Attraction Signs Someone Is Thinking About You

3. Your looks are like a CD56+ lymphocyte. Natural killer.

4. I hope someday to be your emergency contact.

5. I need medical attention! I hurt myself pretty bad falling for you.

6. You’re systemic, and I’m pulmonary. Though we may be divided, together, we are one.

7. Are you a C-reactive protein? Because you have a-cute phase.

8. You must be clozapine because you make me drool uncontrollably.

9. Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

10. Maybe you need a little Vitamin ME in your life.

Maybe you need a little Vitamin ME in your life.

11. You’d better be a cardiologist, because something about you makes me want to give you my heart.

12. You get my heart racing like an epinephrine drip.

13. Can I take your temperature? You’re looking hot today.

14. Babe, it doesn’t matter that you got diabetic retinopathy, because I heard love is blind.

15. Roses are red, violets are blue, you make my heart skip, I think I have Mobitz type II!

16. You can call me DNA helicase because I’ll unzip your genes.

17. Did you alter my vestibular apparatus?! Because I keep falling over for you!

18. Are you a stroke? Because you’re making me numb and tingly.

19. You must be a neuron cause you’ve got some action potential.

20. Are you COPD? Because you take my breath away.

Are you COPD Because you take my breath away.

Funny Medical Pick-Up Lines

Adding a dash of humor is always a good idea. A funny joke that shows your witty sense of humor will make you instantly appear more attractive.

Check out these hilarious medical pick-up lines you can use next time you meet your crush.

1. The way you talk to me leaves me aphasic.

The way you talk to me leaves me aphasic.

2. Did you cut my phrenic nerve? Because baby, you take my breath away.

3. Girl, are you my ex-fix? ‘Cause you stuck in my bones.

4. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

5. Do you breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.

6. Is your name Succinylcholine? Because you’re paralyzing.

7. Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.

8. I need an Imodium because I can’t hold in my love for you.

9. Can I call you pia mater? Cause you’re always on my mind.

10. Are you drowning? Because I’m feeling the urge to give you CPR.

Are you drowning Because I’m feeling the urge to give you CPR.

11. I don’t want an apple a day because I don’t want you to go away.

12. Are you epinephrine? Cuz baby, you make my heart race.

13. Are you Broca’s Aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.

14. Nice antibody. Wanna conjugate?

15. Emphysema puffs pink, chronic bronchitis makes you blue, but no COPD makes me as breathless as you!

16. You have acute angina.

17. Hey, I’m a medullary thyroid carcinoma, and you’re a pheochromocytoma. We’re MEN 2B.

18. You shift my emotional oxy-hemoglobin saturation curve to the left! Easy to bind, hard to let go.

19. I wish my name was Adenine so I could be paired with you.

20. Girl, your chromosomes have combined beautifully.

Girl, your chromosomes have combined beautifully.

21. Organ transplants can be very dangerous, but I’d give you my heart anytime.

22. Eosin is red. Collagen stains blue. I’m stuck prepping slides, but thinking of you.

23. Girl, your personality is so magnetic I think our protons are in alignment.

24. You must have a C3 convertase inhibitor because you’re impossible to complement. You’re already perfect.

25. I get all Kluver-Bucy around you.

26. You must be proline-rich because you’re kinky.

27. Not sure what my creatinine clearance is, but I just can’t get you out of my system.

28. You should probably carry around memantine, since you’re causing some excitotoxicity.

29. I wonder if you can help me? I seem to be suffering from a lack of Vitamin U.

30. You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar.

You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar.

31. Are you an exothermic reaction? Because you spread your hotness everywhere.

32. I need a life. Please lower your standards and go out with me.

33. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’d go into thousands of dollars of crippling debt just to examine you!

34. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air.

35. Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s an IV, so don’t die, maybe?

36. Do you have a scalpel? Because someone needs to cut the tension between us.

37. Do you have SARS? Because I’d like to check you out.

38. You are my antiseptic because you cure my wound; I am always wounded and scarred.

Cheesy Medical Pick-Up Lines

If you’re looking for a cheesy pick-up line, stick with me just a little longer because I’m about to show you the cheesiest medical pick-up lines in the world!

1. Am I interested in you, or is it just blood sugar?

Am I interested in you, or is it just blood sugar

2. Want to be the susceptible host to my airborne pathogen?

3. Do you know how to perform a full-body cast? Because I’m pretty sure I fractured every bone in my body falling for you.

4. Can I feel your forehead? You either have a fever or you’re just really hot.

5. Erythema is red. Cyanosis is blue. I get apneic when I see you.

6. Girl, if you play your cards right, I can squeeze you in between my preload and afterload.

7. Girl, you must be norepinephrine because you make my heart race!

8. Cutie, you must be a red blood cell because you take the oxygen away from my lungs and send it straight to my heart.

9. I have torn the left adductor longus tendon completely. Will you take care of me?

10. Was that vertigo, or you just rocked my world?

Was that vertigo, or you just rocked my world

11. You’re soo sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.

12. If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me.

13. Your genetic information would combine nicely with mine.

14. Wanna feel safe tonight? Sleep with an EMT.

15. Propranolol is red, Digoxin is blue, my heart skips a beat when I see you.

16. You must be giving me diabetes insipidus because when I’m around you, I can’t concentrate (my urine).

17. You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine.

18. Nucleus is blue, cytoplasm is pink, our love is true.

19. Are you the eroding joint cartilage that causes osteoarthritis? ‘Cause you got me weak in the knees.

20. Is your name adenosine? Because I think my heart just stopped.

Is your name adenosine Because I think my heart just stopped.

21. Babe, I want to dissect your brain to see if you’re thinking of me too!

22. You increase my dopamine levels.

23. You make my heart have Premature Ventricular Contractions.

24. Wake up happy! Sleep with an anesthesiologist!

25. If I go into cardiac arrest, will you give me mouth-to-mouth?

26. Hey girl, I would do the CT scan, but you look like a girl with her heart in the right place.

27. I’ve been single-stranded too long! Lonely TCGTATGG would like to pair up with congenial AGCATACC.

28. Are you acid in my esophagus because you’re making my heart burn.

29. I hope you passed CPR because you’re taking my breath away.

30. Are you on an EKG because you are a QT.

Are you on an EKG because you are a QT.

31. My ventricles pump for you.

32. Let me be the norepinephrine to your B-1 receptor, and I’ll make your heart beat faster.

33. I’ll protect you like a lysozyme, and forcibly digest anyone who tries to hurt you.

34. In my pursuit of happiness, I found nothing but pain. Hey. Give me some opiates!

35. Talking to you triggers my asthma. Is that even possible?

36. You must be a ligand because I feel activated when you are with me.

37. I think you just made my heart skip a beat. I surely hope you plan on fixing it because the only thing you need to do is to take me out to a nice restaurant!

38. Girl, do you have a severe case of plantar fasciitis cus you’ve been running through my mind all day.

39. Infections are contagious, is your love too?

40. Are you worth the side effects, girl?

Are you worth the side effects, girl

Anatomy Related Pick-Up Lines

Check out these anatomy-related medical pick-up lines that are absolutely hilarious!

1. You must be my coronary artery because you’re wrapped around my heart.

You must be my coronary artery because you’re wrapped around my heart.

2. I’m a medic, I know your body better than you do!

3. Better grab the AED… you just made my heart stop!

4. I want to be with you forever, like herpes simplex and the trigeminal nerve.

5. Are you my appendix? Cause I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out!

6. What muscle in the lower extremity causes lateral neck rotation? Your gluteus maximus.

7. Are you fibrous pericardium ? Because you just anchored my heart to yours.

8. I hope my love for you is arterial because I don’t want it to be all in vein.

9. Are you one of my kidneys? Because I could live without you, but I still like to have you inside me.

10. You’re the sinoatrial node of my heart. Without you, even a defibrillator won’t save me.

You’re the sinoatrial node of my heart. Without you, even a defibrillator won’t save me.

11. Hey girl, if I were allergic to beauty, I would have had anaphylactic shock the moment I saw you.

12. Your acetylated histones are really turning me on.

13. Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I’m falling all over the place for you.

14. Stand a little closer, baby, and I’ll bring palpitations to your liver.

15. Specialist, would you be able to retouch my messed up heart since you were the one to break it?

16. Can you clearly hear what my heart is telling you? Your name.

17. You must be calcification on a non-contrast CT, cause you’re just glowing.

18. What’s the best part of the cell next to the cytoplasm? The Nucle-US.

19. Why is it so hard to study the cardiovascular system? Because the heart is fragile and should always be handled with care.

20. You get my heart hustling like an epinephrine trickle.

You get my heart hustling like an epinephrine trickle.

21. You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane lets you through.

22. Will you be my G-Protein? Because I want to be coupled with you!

23. Call a code blue, cause my heart stopped when I saw you.

24. My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I’m falling for you.

25. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

26. When you walked in the door, your beauty hit me so hard that I had a subarachnoid hemorrhage from the impact.

Doctor Pick-Up Lines For Medical Students

If you’re a medical student, you’re gonna love these catchy medical pick-up lines. Choose one, send it to your crush right now, and see what happens next.

1. Did we go to school together? I swear we had chemistry!

Did we go to school together I swear we had chemistry!

2. Hey girl, are you a defibrillator? Cause you’re sending shocks straight to my heart.

3. You can fill my caudate nucleus with dopamine anytime.

4. Are you a lateral pterygoid because you make my jaw drop.

5. Do you have protein? Because you have a good role.

6. You are so hot that you denature my enzymes.

7. Hey girl, you’re like a car accident, because I can’t look away.

8. You’re giving me torticollis by the way you’re making my head turn.

9. When you walked in the door, your beauty hit me so hard that I have priapism from all the trauma.

10. My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.

My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.

11. Do you have an inhaler? You took my breath away.

12. Girl you’re so hot that I would still talk to you even after I’m off the anti-depressant pills I stole from my hospital’s pharmacy.

13. Are you PGE2? Because you’re so hot, you gave me a fever.

14. You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar.

15. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? Smooth or rough?

16. I’m like a doctor, actually an orthodontist, I’m gonna have to ask you to, you know, uh take off your clothes.

17. I must be going through anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

18. The way you ask me leaves me aphasic.

19. I’m jealous of your stethoscope… I am the one who should be wrapped around your neck!

20. If you need a love doctor, I have, like, a medicated degree.

If you need a love doctor, I have, like, a medicated degree.

21. The best gynecologist and even better boyfriend!

22. So, babe, back in med school, my peeps call me PND.

23. I didn’t plan on specializing, but you seem pretty special to me.

24. Honey, do you like water? That means you already like 80% of me.

25. Hey, did I mention I am going to be a doctor?

26. Hey girl, are you a pulmonary embolism? Cause you’re making me breathless.

27. Are you on the end of the long arm of a small acrocentric chromosome? ‘Cause you are 22Qter.

28. I’m a med student. Trust me, I know how to palpate you right!

29. I thought you were a 1st degree AV block, but then I noticed my PR interval wasn’t the only thing getting longer.

30. My love for you is so strong it can’t be dialyzed.

My love for you is so strong it can’t be dialyzed.

31. What do you and a febrile patient have in common? You’re both hot.

32. Are you an anesthesiologist? Because, baby, you sure do know how to knock out my senses!

33. I could name all the causes of a heart attack, but I can’t explain why my heart is feeling that way about you.

34. Are you the optic chiasm because you turned my world around.

35. Are you hypokalemia? Because you make me feel weak at the knees.

36. Can I change your status from G0P0 to G1P1?

Final Words

There you have it, a collection of the wittiest and flirtiest medical-pick up lines anywhere on the web!

Which one will you choose? Let me know in the comments section below. Also, if you have more exciting pick-up lines I didn’t mention here, please share them with me.

I hope you enjoyed the article and to see you again.

Until next time!

Read next: 100 Awesome Kiss Pick Up Lines To Help You Get A Kiss

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