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90 Mae West Quotes Too Brilliant To Miss

90 Mae West Quotes Too Brilliant To Miss

Dive into the wisdom of one of Hollywood’s most brilliant actresses, the one and only Mae West!

Here you’ll find 90 epic Mae West quotes that portray her unmatched wit and sense of humor.

Let’s start!

Top 10 Mae West Quotes

1. “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!” ― Mae West

Poster of Mae West representing the best Mae West quote.

2. “Look your best – who said love is blind? ” ― Mae West

3. “You are never too old to become younger!” ― Mae West

4. “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.” ― Mae West

5. “To err is human – but it feels divine.” ― Mae West

Mae West's movie poster representing the best Mae West quote.

6. “If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!” ― Mae West

7. “It is better to be looked over than overlooked.” ― Mae West

8. “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.” ― Mae West

9. “It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don’t break any.” — Mae West

10. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ― Mae West

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough

See also: 90 You Only Live Once Quotes To Lead You To A Better Life

Brilliant Mae West Quotes

1. “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” — Mae West 

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache
Credit: Britannica

2. “I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.” ― Mae West

3. “Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I’d have to give it up.” ― Mae West

4. “When women go wrong, men go right after them.” ― Mae West

5. “When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. ” ― Mae West

When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better
Credit: Britannica

6. “JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?

MAE WEST: I was doin’ my best to hide it.”

7. “Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” ― Mae West

8. “I have found men who didn’t know how to kiss. I’ve always found time to teach them.” ― Mae West

9. “I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.” ― Mae West

10. “Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.” ― Mae West

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided
Credit: Britannica

See also: 260 Empowering BBW Captions For Plus Size Beauties

11. “I’ve no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who’d do up the zipper on the back of your dress? ” ― Mae West

12. “I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.” ― Mae West

13. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” ― Mae West

14. “Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.” ― Mae West

15. “I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.” ― Mae West

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Credit: Britannica

See also: List Of 10 Eye-opening Diamond Quotes To Check Out

16. “Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” — Mae West

17. “He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.” — Mae West

18. “A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ― Mae West

19. “A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.” — Mae West

20. “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” ― Mae West

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it
Credit: Britannica

21. “Gentlemen prefer blondes, but who says blondes prefer gentlemen?” ― Mae West

22. “A man in the house is worth two on the street.” ― Mae West

23. “Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.” — Mae West

24. “I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they’re smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness… My work has always been my greatest happiness” ― Mae West

25. “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor, and rich is better.” ― Mae West

I've been rich and I've been poor, and rich is better
Credit: Britannica

26. “It takes two to get one in trouble.” — Mae West

27. “I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.” ― Mae West

28. “A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.” — Mae West

29. “I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.” — Mae West

30. “I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.” — Mae West

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action
Credit: Britannica

See also: 100 Actions Speak Louder Than Words Quotes To Live By

Mae West Quotes To Teach You About Life

1. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” ― Mae West

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere

2. “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.” ― Mae West

3. “A man’s kiss is his signature.” — Mae West

4. “There are no good girls gone wrong – just bad girls found out.” ― Mae West

5. “Don’t cry for a man who’s left you – the next one may fall for your smile.” ― Mae West

See also: 300 Smile Captions For Instagram To Level Up Your Feed

6. “It’s not the men in your life that matters, it’s the life in your men.” ― Mae West

7. “Men are all alike – except the one you’ve met who’s different.” ― Mae West

8. “An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.” — Mae West

9. “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else” ― Mae West

10. “Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.” ― Mae West

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes

See also: 240 Fire Captions For Instagram To Set The World On Fire

11. “The curve is more powerful than the sword.” ― Mae West

12. “Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.” — Mae West

13. “Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.” — Mae West

14. “Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you’re heading for a crash. What I’m against is blind flying.” ― Mae West

15. “Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.” ― Mae West 

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.

16. “The best way to hold a man is in your arms.” — Mae West

17. “He who hesitates is a damned fool.” ― Mae West

18. “Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.” — Mae West

19. “Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.” ― Mae West

20. “Love isn’t an emotion or an instinct – it’s an art.” ― Mae West

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.

21. “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” ― Mae West

22. “One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.” — Mae West

23. “Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.” — Mae West

24. “Brains are an asset, if you hide them.” ― Mae West

25. “I never loved another person the way I loved myself.” — Mae West

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

See also: 130 Self-Love Affirmations To Help You Embrace Yourself

Mae West Quotes That Are Relatable

1. “I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” ― Mae West

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

2. “Love thy neighbor – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.” ― Mae West

3. “Good women are no fun… The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.” ― Mae West

4. “Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.” ― Mae West

5. “Personally, I like two types of men – domestic and foreign.” — Mae West

Personally, I like two types of men - domestic and foreign.

6. “I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.” ― Mae West

7. “Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.” ― Mae West

8. “It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.” — Mae West

9. “A woman in love can’t be reasonable–or she probably wouldn’t be in love.” ― Mae West

10. “I’m single because I was born that way.” ― Mae West

I'm single because I was born that way

See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life

11. “The score never interested me, only the game.” — Mae West

12. “No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.” ― Mae West 

13. “Keep a diary, and someday it’ll keep you.” — Mae West

14. “It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.” — Mae West

15. “She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.” ― Mae West 

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong

16. “One more drink and I’ll be under the host.” ― Mae West

See also: 320 Cool & Catchy Drinking Captions For Instagram

17. “Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired.” — Mae West

18. “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” ― Mae West

19. “I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.” — Mae West

20. “If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.” — Mae West

21. “Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” ― Mae West

22. “Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they’re doing and saying in films right now just shouldn’t be allowed. There’s no dignity anymore and I think that’s very important.” — Mae West

23. “I speak two languages, Body and English.” — Mae West

24. “I see you’re a man with ideals. I better be going before you’ve still got them.” — Mae West

25. “Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.” — Mae West

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

In Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed my collection of Mae West quotes. Check out quotement.com for more epic lines.

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90 Mae West Quotes Too Brilliant To Miss