The first day of your weekend fun is here, so let’s dive into a great collection of funny Saturday quotes that are all about embracing the joy, laziness, and pure awesomeness it brings!

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Top 10 Funny Saturday Quotes

1. “Hands up if you’re ready to do something you’ll regret this weekend. Go forth! You have my blessing.” — Florence Welch

A woman standing in a field representing the top funny Saturday quote

2. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” — Ogden Nash

3. “If Sunday is the Lord’s day, then Saturday belongs to the Devil. It is the only night of the week when he gives out Free passes to the Late show at the Too Much Fun Club.” — Hunter S. Thompson

4. “Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts, and batteries for the remote control..” — Diana Jordan

5. “Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.” — Bill Watterson

6. “Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.” ― Tina Fey

7. “I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.” — Anna Scott

8. “We need the spirit of Sunday carried over to Monday and continued until Saturday.” — Edward McKendree Bounds

9. “Saturday is the mightiest day of the week. It’s unshakably, overwhelmingly superior. Not only is it a day off of school, the following day is also a day off, like some kind of Super Saiyan bargain sale.” — Wataru Watari

10. “There are…just two kinds of girls. Those who go downtown Saturday nights, and those who don’t.” — Edna Ferber

Funny Saturday Morning Quotes

1. “Saturday mornings, I’ve learned, are a great opportunity for kids to sneak into your bed, fall back asleep, and kick you in the face.” — Dan Pearce

A woman walking in the field with a flower basket in her hand representing a funny Saturday quote for morning

2. “Saturday mornings: When even coffee needs coffee to wake up.” — Unknown

3. “I’m not an early bird at all. Ideally, on Saturday morning I’d allow myself a lovely lie-in. 10:45 would be just right.” — Shilpa Shetty

4. “Sometimes, the hardest part of Saturday mornings is leaving the bed behind.” — Unknown

5. “It’s Saturday! I’m just going to sit here and let the weekend wash over me.” — Unknown

6. “Saturday mornings: the only time when bedhead and pajamas become a fashion statement.” — Unknown

7. “I’m so excited for Saturday, I could almost pretend to be a morning person for a few hours.” — Unknown

8. “There’s just one legitimate synonym for Saturday: Boom Shakalaka.” — Unknown

9. “It’s Saturday. Time to be a hero and rescue some wine trapped in a bottle.” — Unknown

10. “Saturday mornings: When my alarm clock and motivation play hide and seek.” — Unknown

Funny Quotes For Saturday Night

1. “If you see me on Friday, you’ll see different material on Saturday night.” ― Kathy Griffin

2. “If they want to learn how to live life right they ought to study me on Saturday night.” — Maya Angelou

3. “It’s Saturday night and I’m home on Facebook. Don’t laugh, so are you.” — Unknown

4. “People still act differently on a Saturday night for no reason other than it’s Saturday night.” — Susan Orleans

5. “I learned that the hardest party to pull off successfully is Saturday night dinner.” — Ina Garten

6. “It’s a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.” — Jimmy Buffett

7. “It’s Saturday night! I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.” — Unknown

8. “You can have fun all year long, but there is something truly special about sitting down and relaxing on a Saturday night while everyone else is too drunk to remember the evening. Happy Saturday!” — Unknown

9. “Tonight’s forecast, 99% chance of wine.” — Unknown

10. “Today is Saturday night, which means that the only decision that you should be making is whether to have a bottle or a glass of wine.” — Unknown

Funny Saturday Quotes For Work

1. “On the sixth day, god created man, the sort of result you often get when you go in to work on a Saturday.” — Robert Brault

A young woman holding a flower basket in a field

2. “When people strive for work/life balance, they end up blending them. That’s how you end up checking email all day Saturday.” — Tim Ferriss

3. “Saturday is the day where you can do whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t involve work.” — Unknown

4. “When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

5. “Saturday is the beginning of my liver’s work week.” — Unknown

6. “‘Yay it’s the weekend,’ said nobody who is self-employed.” — Unknown

7. “I don’t work on weekends or any other day that ends with ’y’.” — Unknown

8. “When your coworkers ask if you’re ready for the weekend, just respond with ‘I was born ready!’” — Unknown

9. “As you know, the average time to recover from the weekend is about two days. However, age and work may slow the recovery time to around five full days.” — Unknown

10. “The secret to productivity on Saturdays? A well-timed coffee break… or five of them!” — Unknown

Funny Weekend Quotes For Saturday

1. “A weekend wasted isn’t a wasted weekend.” — Unknown

2. “This weekend don’t think about Monday, it will come soon enough.” — Robert Rivers

3. “Better days are coming. They are called Saturday and Sunday.” — Unknown

4. “Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.” — John Shirley

5. “The weekend is here and you deserve a medal for getting through this week.” — Anthony T. Hincks

6. “I try to treat each evening and weekend as little slices of retirement because no one is guaranteed a lengthy one at the end of their career.” — Mike Hammar

7. “The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.” — George Carlin

8. “Can we start the weekend over again I wasn’t ready.” — Unknown

9. “When you’re young, you should live out every weekend. Even if you look like a scarecrow, you just gotta go!” — Jonathan Brandis

10. “I am always happy to meet my friend, and my friend is my weekend.” — Debasish Mridha

Short Funny Saturday Quotes

1. “Three places you can find me on Saturday: My bed. The fridge. The bathtub.” — Unknown

2. “My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.” — Alan King

3. “It’s Saturday. Movement is optional.” — Unknown

4. “Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.” — Charmaine J. Forde

5. “It’s Saturday. I plan on doing nothing and plenty of it.” — Unknown

6. “It’s Saturday. The toughest decision you need to make, bottle or draft.” — Unknown

7. “Saturday used to be for sleeping in, then I had kids.” — Unknown

8. “Today is Saturday, which means that today I will be multi-slacking instead of multi-tasking.” — Unknown

9. “Saturday is the day to do nothing and still feel good about it.” — Unknown

10. “My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday!” — Unknown

Wrapping It Up

I gathered these funny Saturday quotes from the vast corners of the internet, and I hope they sprinkled a little extra fun into your day!